Marriage, Sex

Honesty Hour: The Honeymoon – What to Expect and What to Pack

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Before I was married, I had these grandiose ideas that sex on the wedding night would go something like this:

I’m in my wedding dress at the door to the hotel room, hot hubs picks me up, carries me into the room and the passionate kisses and clothes start flying. It’s perfect. It feels AMAZING. Everything is exactly how it should be…

Well, that’s wasn’t the case. At all. My hot hubs practically carried me into our suite because well, I strained my ankle the morning of the wedding and COULD NOT WALK. Sexy, I know.

Because of my lovely injury, there was little we could do inside and outside the bedroom. Also, we were in Las Vegas, aka the walking capital of the world.

Chances are, you won’t fall the morning of your wedding and you’ll get to your destination just fine. If your wedding night is your first time, you’re probably wondering what it will be like and what to expect. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, put pressure on yourselves to do the deed that night. You will be exhausted from the entire day and you may not have the energy to try anything. That’s fine, you’ve got plenty of time to practice. If you do get to your hotel and are exhausted, strip down, take a shower (together? sure!) and just unwind. Cuddle, talk, reminisce on the day and relax. The less pressure you feel to “perform,” the more enjoyable the experience will be.

Before I get to the fun stuff, get to know your body before the wedding night. I’m not talking about masturbation, I simply mean you should try to get more comfortable in your skin. Growing up, I thought that any kind of touching down there was bad so I had NO idea what a vagina (or surrounding areas) looked like. If you haven’t seen it either, take some time, grab a mirror and locate your parts. Look for the:

  • labia majora- outer lips
  • labia minora- inner lips
  • clitoris- fleshy nub at the top of the vagina
  • vagina- an opening between the inner lips, underneath the clitoris

Your Vulva includes all of the above- it’s the external organs you can see outside your body. Once you feel confident with those, it will be less awkward on your wedding night- you can show hubs where to go. Also, being nude is part of this whole sex deal. One way I got more confident in my body was to get ready topless (by myself, of course) or do chores in my underwear. I know it’s a little odd, but everyone has a body and your husband will love yours no matter what it looks like.

the honeymoon sex

Okay, time for the good stuff!

For starters, it’s going to be clumsy. You will fumble around to try to find the right hole and figure out what feels good. Don’t get too freaked out if things don’t work like they should the first few times. Your husband may be rearing to go but his penis just isn’t getting the memo that it’s time to go down to pound-town. Make sure you are wet enough for him to enter you without excess pain. If you take birth control, it may affect how wet or dry you are. Also, though it’s all so exciting, make sure you take enough time to be fully aroused, otherwise it’s gonna feel like you’re sticking down a dry water slide. NO ONE likes dry waterslides.

Go slowly. Or, maybe you just want to rush into it all and finally celebrate the fact that you successfully placed the P in the V. Cool. But if you want things to feel good, go slowly. Touch each other in places and ask what feels good. See how different positions feel. Be aware that men arouse a lot faster than women and usually reach orgasm faster as well. If that happens, tell hubs what you want him to do. If you want him to touch you more, tell him. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t have an orgasm right away, it takes time and lots of practice. 🙂

You are going to sweat. You’re also going to be sore in places you didn’t know you had. Sex definitely adds a dose of cardio to your day and when you start humping like bunnies, you’re going to feel it.

Sex is messy. Lay a towel down to keep the bed from getting wet. Also, if he does “come” inside of you, you will probably want to wear a pad or pantiliner if you plan to go out afterward because you’ll definitely have some “dripping” and possibly blood from your first time.

I have two last thoughts before we close out on this post. First, your husband isn’t going to think you’re a freak if you moan, touch yourself and get into it. He’s going to love that. Secondly, have a talk to your future hubs about what expectations you have for the honeymoon. Yes, you will want to go sex crazy but also make sure to plan other activities- food and water are important and you’ll want to recuperate after the sexcapades. And please, PLEASE, PEE AFTER SEX! Otherwise, you could end up with a nasty UTI. I would have saved myself from a few nasty infections if I had known this super important rule.

I’ve put together a fun little sexy-time packing list for reference!

The Sexy List of Things to Pack For the Humpymoon

Lube – water based like KY if you use condoms
Silicone- Fees silky soft. Should not be used with silicone toys.
Oil -like coconut oil (DO NOT USE WITH CONDOMS)
condoms/birth control
Cleansing wash like Summer’s Eve
Cranberry or D-Mannose pills (D-Mannose is just a more concentrated version of cranberry pills. I recommend taking these in the weeks leading up to the wedding, they help prevent UTI’s by keeping your urinary tract system flushed!)
Witch hazel wipes for irritation (good to have on hand if you find out that lubes or condoms make you itchy)

* Don’t feel like you have to buy all the lubes! You will probably want to experiment with them at some point, I just wanted to share what’s available to you.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me and ask! Nothing is too weird for me :). Otherwise, have a great long weekend! Thanks for all the love and support! 

Emily Heart

3 thoughts on “Honesty Hour: The Honeymoon – What to Expect and What to Pack

  1. I’m with you. I had no idea what to expect on my wedding night and it took time for the ‘magic’ to happen. I’m thankful for my patient, loving husband through it all.

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