Today we’re talking about tracking sex and periods. Fun, I know. But hear me out! It’s super important to be in tune with your body (whether you’re married or not!). Tracking your cycle helps give you peace of mind and can alert you to any health issues. Once you’re married, you can keep your hubs in the loop and help stay on top of taking birth control. If you’re not on birth control, tracking is super beneficial to help keep you aware of your fertile days! 🙂
I didn’t know women tracked their cycles and sex until I started looking at birth control options. I started using an app to remind me to take my pills so that Aunt Flo didn’t show up as an uninvited wedding attendee.
Why should you track?
Well, scheduling things is very beneficial for your sanity- you’re talking to the queen of fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants, so if I think it’s beneficial, I’m probably right…
Scheduling your cycle is helpful to know when you can safely wear white pants to a party. You can use a calendar, though I use an app to track things and my cycle is pretty predictable with birth control. Plus, once you start tracking on an app, it will alert you when you’re due to start your period or when you are nearing your fertile days. A lot of the apps out there also allow you to add Hubs so that he can be in the loop too (and maybe bring home some peanut butter M&M’s on the crampy days!). At this point of our lives, we have no desire to have children, so keeping track of my period is an easy way for us to be extra careful if we have sex on my fertile days!
I honestly didn’t start tracking my period until I started birth control so don’t feel pressured to start if you’re not married yet. Tracking is a wonderful tool, though, no matter how you do it.
What are the benefits?
Well, Aunt Flo won’t surprise you with a visit- which is always a good thing! If you are trying to (or not) get preggo, it’s a great way to track your fertile days. Phone apps can also alert you when you need to take your pills, change your ring (NuvaRing), or check your strings (IUD).
Plus, if your periods become irregular, that can be a sign that something is up. Keeping track of your cycle helps you fill the doctor in on any concerns you may have.
Tracking helps keep me excited!
If I know my period is going to start, I’ll squeeze in a bang sesh. Whether we plan out a day or it happens later that afternoon, I look forward to it! Being the high drive spouse, anytime I know I’m gonna get some is a good time.
Tracking helps me be intentional.
Tracking sex helps keep me intentional. If I’m grumpy and seemingly on edge all the time, I can look back and see the last time we had sex. If it’s been a while, I know what I’m doing that evening. Sometimes I feel like it’s been weeks and it has only been 2 days. Ha.
Too often, I wait until Hubs initiates sex and then I remember it’s not on the front of his mind like it is mine. Tracking sex helps remind me to initiate sex when I want to, too! When I’m intentional about giving Hubs some love, it benefits the both of us! Win/win!
Planning and scheduling.
Sex is beneficial for the both of us, right? When we’ve planned _ days a week to have sex, I’m less likely to be disappointed (because I have those days to look forward to).
Planning out sex helps keep us on the same page. It also helps set expectations. Sunday afternoons may call for “marital naps” (as we call them) and date nights = sex. The expectation is standing between the two of us and we go into these days with something to look forward to. Heck, sometimes we fall asleep just talking to each other. Ha- it doesn’t always have to happen. What’s important is that the expectation is there for the both of us.
I’m the poster child for spontaneous anything, but since we are dealing with Hubs’s health issues, I’ve had to change my approach on our time together. He can think about sex all day long and then the time comes to perform and nothing happens. That is SUPER disappointing for the both of us (him, more so) but I take a breath, give grace and communicate. When my expectations are for sex and I feel like I’m left hanging, I may ask him for a few “favors”. If something happens, great! If something doesn’t go the way I pictured- that’s okay, we still had time together.
How can I track my cycle?
Well, like I said previously, you can use an app or a calendar. If you are using any type of contraception, it makes it pretty easy to know when your period will start. If you are not using contraception, you can still track your cycle naturally! You take your temperature at the same time every day and add it to the app or your calendar. Then, you can check the position of your cervix and the consistency of your cervical mucus to find your fertile days.
I polled some girlfriends and these are their fave apps for tracking (with Birth Control or with Natural Family Planning!) (these are links to the App Store for iPhone)
Time for some accountability…
I want to be honest with you. While I consistently track sex and my cycle for my sanity, I have to be VERY careful to not hold my “less-than-ideal” sex life over Hubs’s head. It is very easy for me to look back at the month and say, “wow, twice. Fantastic.” and roll my eyes. Honestly, I do it more often than I’d like to admit. All that does is hurt Hubs and perpetuate my cycle of lies about him. It takes two to tango, and he can hold up his end but I can too! Sometimes I just want to find something to be annoyed about and that isn’t helping anyone. I’m not sure if anyone else is in this same situation, but I just want to put it out there.
One last tip!
If you are planning a wedding soon, I have two pieces of advice for you! First, don’t plan your wedding date during your period, like I did! *There are ways to remedy this, though! Secondly, if you do plan on taking birth control, start it about 3 months before your wedding date! That way you’ll be covered and somewhat used to it by the honeymoon!
Alright, friends! Have a great weekend and give your Hubs a smooch!