There are hundreds of wedding and bridal blogs out there that share the DIY’s and How-To’s to make your wedding perfect. You have dreamed of this day for a long time and now it’s only a matter of time until you will be walking down the aisle.
Planning is going to be somewhat chaotic, but trust me, you’ll get through it! Just remember to enjoy this time and don’t let everything consume you!
Here are my top 5 “suggestions” on wedding planning:
1. Find Your Top 3.
When I say “Top 3,” I mean you should find the top 3 things that are the most important to you on your wedding day/honeymoon and stick to making them the main recipients of your time and finances. Photography, Venue and Honeymoon location could be yours, for example. After you’ve talked to your family about any financial contributions, break down your budget and figure out what things you want to “splurge” on. Maybe you dream of an extravagant venue with gorgeous flower arrangements and a videographer who captures your entire day… cool. Maybe you want an intimate wedding on the beach with a few of your closest friends and relatives… great. Whatever they are, decide that you will put the bulk of your budget towards those and then work backward from there.
2. Find A Mentor For Yourself And For You As A Couple
This one, I believe is huge and I think we missed out on this because of our long distance engagement. Do you have a strong Christian friend that encourages you and pushes you to be a better person? Talk to them about the areas you are struggling with and ask that they help keep you accountable.
I know that if anyone of my close friends knew that future hubs and I were struggling with premarital sex, I would have been able to keep myself in check. I didn’t ask for help, so no one knew how much of a struggle my engagement was (when he still lived in town). The pastor that you ask to marry you would be a great mentor for you as a couple. There, you can ask questions, (Need Some Ideas?) talk things out and set up a game plan for keeping the hands above the belt until game time! If you are like us and have had premarital sex, talk about steps you can take to help prevent it from happening again.
Once you’ve gone down that road, it’s difficult to stop at an earlier point when you think, “We’ve gone that far before,” or “We’ve already ruined it.” Know this, you haven’t ruined it. You messed up, you made a mistake. Now, you both have to make a conscious decision to stop getting to that point.
Romans 2:12-13 says:
If you sin without knowing what you’re doing, God takes that into account. But if you sin knowing full well what you’re doing, that’s a different story entirely. Merely hearing God’s law is a waste of your time if you don’t do what He commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God.
If you continue to do what you aren’t supposed to, you are sinning. Your choices have consequences. Yes, there is grace, there will always be grace, but it should never be used as an excuse to do wrong in God’s eyes.
3. No One Remembers The Details
Like, seriously. No one remembers that you had gold chargers and napkins that coordinated with the bridesmaid’s dresses. No one remembers the bubbles or the food (unless it’s horrible- ours was. THERE WAS HAIR IN MY SALAD!). It’s fun to plan every detail and want it to be perfect, but know that you’re spending money on things no one remembers (you won’t, either) and you’ll be stuck with a lot of leftovers that you won’t know what to do with (try wedding resale Facebook groups!). I had my bouquet made of real flowers, I used baby’s breath for table fillers and then made giant paper flowers for the bridesmaids. Simple. Cheap. Unmemorable. If you want to write out a super detailed wedding weekend list, I created one for our wedding (Ceremony ScheduleWedding Weekend). ALSO, BRUNCH IS CHEAPER AND A LOT OF FUN AND YOU CAN HAVE SEX SOONER.
4. Find Some Sexy Lingerie But DON’T Get Discouraged
Here’s the thing, I’m a plus size girl, I always have been. When we got engaged, future hubs requested that I don’t wear any lingerie. I was taken aback and couldn’t believe that a man wouldn’t want to see his new wife in a sexy little teddy. He has a past addiction to porn and he was afraid that seeing me like that would bring back memories from past images. So, we prayed about it and came to a conclusion that I wanted to be sexy for myself and he was willing to tread lightly.
If you are plus sized like me, go into a bra store, get measured and keep those close at all times when you are shopping! Plus size stores like Torrid and Lane Bryant have definitely upped their lingerie game. IF you shop online, make sure the measurements match or are bigger than your measurements and give yourself enough time to try it on at home and ship it back if it doesn’t fit. Hips And Curves is one of my favorite places to shop for cute plus-size lingerie. I have found that the 1x-2x/3x-4x sizes don’t always fit well because they cover a range of sizes. A lot of sex toy stores have a section just for lingerie, usually in the front, if you are uncomfortable with going into a store like that. Some of the common types of lingerie are:
- Teddy– A teddy is comparable to a one-piece bathing suit. It is a combination of underwear and a short top. Usually, results in a wedgie.
- Babydoll– This is a really short nightgown that flirts at the top of the hip. It begins with a clasp or a knot at the bust, and the rest of it floats away from the body. Usually, a baby doll is sold with a panty type (g- string, thong, etc.)bottom. These are (in my opinion) the most flattering, especially if you are self-conscious about your midsection.
- Bra and Panties– just like they sound. Add a little extra “wow” and find some crotchless panties!
- Bustier– These are form-fitting tops that are fastened at the back and accentuate the bust.
- Chemise– a short nightgown that is usually made out of a fairly light material, something frilly and fun.
- Robe– a snuggie doesn’t count as lingerie, ladies… find a sexy silky or sheer one robe 😉
It’s a lot of fun to shop for lingerie but remember, your husband loves you for you. If you can’t find something you love, don’t get discouraged, take your time to even find one bra and panty set that you feel amazing in and know that he will love every part of you and those sexy outfits last for about 12 seconds…
5. Pray for your future hubs and your new life together.
Really, this should be first, and second and third on the list. There will be a lot of chaos in all the planning, so make sure to make time for just the two of you. You will want to pull your hair out at some point. Take a deep breath and take a moment and pray. Pray for peace, pray for wisdom, pray that God would continue to bless this relationship. Make sure you take time to grow closer to God together. Make it a priority. Nothing else matters. This is a cliche verse for marriage, but I want to share it anyways because it is important to bring us back to the reason we are doing this in the first place.
1 Corinthians 14:4-8 says
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
We all want to grow in patience and love for one another. This could be a helpful verse to put things into perspective while planning the day of your dreams and the rest of your lives together.
There are so many more tips I could share with you, but from my recent wedding-planning experience, these were the ones I thought were most important. Make sure you over-thank your family for what they are providing and tell your friends how grateful you are to have them in your wedding. It takes a lot of work to plan and a lot of work to be a part.
Go give your future hubs a smooch (but not too much) and we’ll talk again soon.